Are you ignoring the obvious? Are you accelerating through the bright red stop sign? ? If so, you may be heading towards trouble.

The older you get the more you realise that life is every shade of grey ever made – even more so when it’s your life in the spotlight.

The black and white perspectives are reserved for concerned friends, parents who love you too much to bite their tongues and most commonly people who don’t know what they’re talking about.

I was recently asked my opinion regarding a guy in a family situation in the early stages of pursuing something with a single woman aware of his situation.

My first thought was that they are both adults aware of the each other’s relationship status and the decision was theirs.

New info: he’d admitted to “falling” when talking about his feelings for her thinking about their future, and had made it clear that he was years into a situation he had gotten into at a young age and wasn’t happy, he loved her but wasn’t in love and hadn’t been for sometime.

Ok, so why not do something about it? In my opinion he obviously wasn’t that unhappy and was just looking to ‘have his cake and eat it too’.

Background info: the two met almost two years ago while they were both on holiday and we all know that most moments on holiday automatically gets filed into ‘perfect’. Since then they’d been whatsapping and calling throughout the year until recently when he flew her out to him – Holiday 2. Which brings us up to date.

After a five day long date, long deep conversations, exploring two cities, trying new foods and other ‘thangs’, uninterrupted by the typical drags of life, he delivered his sales pitch and sold her the dream. And I can’t really blame her for being slightly more than halfway sold.

He had said and done all the right things but that didn’t change the fact that once he got off his plane he’d be back playing house with his family.

Say all of this I’m not placing all or even any of the blame on him. In fact I commend him on his honesty, transparency at this level is not very common in my opinion. And it takes two to tango.

My parting advise was to enjoy it for what it was but not let the ‘connection’ cloud the facts.

What advice would you give?